What’s fifty-six?
“Mom, What’s fifty-six?” “Ah, I’m not sure what you mean.” “I think it might be a… a…” “Mmm-hmm?” (Whispered) “…a sex thing…” Long, long pause. “Honey, do you mean sixty-nine?” “Oh, yeah, that’s it.”...
View ArticleFlowers for Addison
It’s hard to have a pet die in your hands and remain unmoved. My ten year old daughter keeps pet rats, as I did when I was a kid. And if you have never had pet rats, you have entirely the wrong...
View ArticleLiv Wrong
Ok, so I got my bracelet. Here, modeled by Olivia, my eleven year old daughter, who sniped the fucking thing before I even had a chance to put it on. You know, she’s such a prim little goody two-shoes...
View ArticleFirst Ride
Ruby, my six-year-old, reminded me of something today. “Daddy”, she said, “You promised we could see if my legs are long enough.” And of course I had. The rule has always been, when you can get both...
View ArticleWoW, WDW!
So I’m gonna be in beautiful Orlando, Florida sampling the exotic delights of Disney the latter half of this week, flying home Monday the 9th of May. I’d like to say this will be a booze-and-narcotics...
View ArticleWhat a parent must endure
How is it the same guy can make Desperado, Sin City, and Shark Boy and Lava Girl? It’s what you gotta do sometimes when you’re a parent. You go to movies because this weekend, you need something to do...
View ArticleIs that for my ears?
Last night I was downloading something or other, some sample of an artist I’ve now forgotten. Olivia was in the office with me, I suspect up to her eyeballs in her playmobile obsession. So I start up...
View ArticleHappy Birthday, Ruby
My daughter is seven years old today. Wow. How time fucking slips between my fingers. I remember the first one, who’s now eleven, being born only a couple years ago. This one can’t possibly be this...
View Articleeaster beast
I have a particular problem with easter. Oh, long time readers will know I have problems with several holiday. One might take this all to mean I’m just a sort of joyless, curmudgeonly bastard. And I...
View ArticleL O V E – H A T E, baby!
This rules: I of course also own a pair of “L O V E – H A T E” motorcycle gloves, which I think you can’t get now, but which rule. But I’m gonna have to snap up these baby gloves, for, you know,...
View Articleworst october since last october
So here’s how it’s been the last month or so. First, about a month ago, Barb had to go in for abdominal surgery – a long story, which maybe I’ll tell much later. The short version is that the surgery...
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